Who lives in a pirate ship over the sea?
The old seadog
Who is peg legged and drunk as can be?
The old seadog
Wednesday, September 19, 2018
The Seven Seas (I think, for we are sorely lost)
Avast Mateys,
Arrgh. Fair warning, landlubbers. Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day. In past years, we have been far too easy on thee. Today, I shall show no mercy on those what flouts this solemn day.
Me lads, load the cannons with grapeshot and cannonballs! Step lively! Fire at will at these hard-headed landlubbers!
This year, we have greased the gangplanks, so all will slide into the sea. And me boys are ready to keelhaul landlubbers. Sharks are trailing us, waiting for supper. This day, they will wax and be fat as whales.
Me rum is messing with me ears. I hear a band playing “Halls of Montezuma.” How dare the US Navy bring in the Marines! If I can find me cutlass and me eyepatch and me crutch, they will lament the day they unfurled the Stars & Stripes in me presence.
Lads, hoist high the sails and fire a broadside, double-time! Sink that ship before Marines board us! I can’t swim, so we must be the victors.
Polly, come back! Stay off that Navy ship! If I catch you, I shall barbecue you feathers and all. Me head is reeling. Now where is me rum?
When that Navy ship is at the bottom of the sea, we shall deal with those who ignore Talk Like a Pirate Day. Now, where is me musket?
Oh, me head is reeling.
Now be done with it!
The Old Seadog
Leave a Reply