C. T. Suddeth

8-year-old gourmet fore for four

How to eat pasghetti. First pick out tomato bits with your fork and hide them under the plate—they were left over from making the sauce. Do not sprinkle grated cheese—it stinks like old socks. Mom will cut it up, but she won’t cut it up right. The pasghetti is as long as you are. When she’s not looking, use your hands. Then pretend to use a fork.

[Editor’s note: while Mr. Suddeth was napping a neighborhood urchin took over his computer]

On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese
I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed….