Perfect mac and cheese: Don’t let your mom use wholegrains. Or sharp cheese (who wants sharp stuff in your food). Or weird shapes like seashells. She may put a tomato on top or veggies inside—refuse to eat it. Next dump gobs of ketchup all over it. Throw your fork on the floor and grab a spoon. [Editor’s note: while Mr. Suddeth was dozing, a neighborhood urchin took over his computer]




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