C. T. Suddeth

Ex-wife Blues

Charles Suddeth

I got, I got, I got the low-down ex-wife blues,

She kept everything, even my honkytonk shoes.

She took my wheels, my threads, even my home,

I got nothing to my name, all I do is roam.

She gave me lots of lip, sent me straight to hell,

I hit the bottle, felt like jumping down the well.

She went to church, she was on a roll,

Talked to the preacher, even took my soul.

She punched me once, twice, or more,

When she was through, I sure was sore.

She swung and got me with a frying pan,

Said she was sending me to the promised land.

She liked her liquor, she liked her booze,

Now you know why I got the low-down ex-wife blues.

(Country song parody—I don’t have an ex even close to this)

[Editor’s note: Mr. Suddeth hit the coffee too hard today]