C. T. Suddeth

(my mother-in-law’s childhood recollections)

With T-Rex’s long legs, you couldn’t outrun them. The best you could hope for was to hide and be still—their sense of smell was weak. Idiots climbed trees, saved T-Rex the bother of bending over for a meal. They had lousy night vision, so night was safest. We always kept a fire in the mouth of our caves, to ward them off. Later, I’ll tell about the fool who stole a T-Rex egg.

[Editor’s note: Mr. Suddeth hit the coffee too hard]

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Mommie?

Charles Suddeth

Terry’s wife waved and said adios, goodbye, so long,

He soon grew lonely, blue, and bored with life alone.

He visited Clones-R-Us and picked out a special pet,

He put a speckled blue watermelon-sized egg in his trunk.

He sat the egg in what should have been the baby’s nursery.

Before long, the egg was rolling, rocking, and reeling.

Soon the egg was cracking, bits of shell splattering the walls,

A baby T-Rex burst out, not the little T-Dilong, he’d ordered.

He called the store, asked to swap the T-Rex for a T-Dilong,

Sorry, but once the egg is hatched, there are no exchanges.

T-Rex saw Terry and uttered, Shmoonch, T-Rex for mom,

No, he yelled, wondering what to feed a T-Rex.

Baby T-Rex ate and ate, eating everything in the house,

Bawling for more, expecting Shmoonch to feed it.

Baby T-Rex outgrew its room, the downstairs, the house,

Soon it was munching on whatever lurked in Terry’s yard.

Baby T-Rex was eating anything that dared move,

Anything except Shmoonch, it loved Mommy.

It outgrew the yard, and dined upon the neighbors,

Terry decided to skedaddle before baby ran out of food.

Screaming hysterically, Terry fled down the street,

But baby T-Rex followed, calling for Shmoonch.

Last we heard, Terry is still fleeing for his life,

Baby T-Rex right on his heels, wanting Mommy.

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Dinosaur DNA found!

Inside the skull cartilage of a 70-million-year-old baby hadrosaur, researchers have found intact DNA. It was once thought impossible for DNA to survive that long. Jurassic Park, here we come! While at the park, please do wear a helmet and mask.

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Before: Hypacrosaurus is a North American duckbilled dinosaur that was almost as big as T-rex. After: A few years ago, intact tissue was found inside fossilized bone. Next: Finding an intact genome. Cloning, maybe 10 years.

 

 

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