Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘holidays’

I thought I would present this on Labor Day because it is one of the few sane holidays:

Holidays can be nightmares. Mama always warned me: Choose your friends & holidays carefully. I never listened.

  1. Only the Horses are Sane Day: In Louisville, the Kentucky Derby is THE holiday. Partying over a 2-minute race goes on for days. I treasure the Derby, but by the 1st Saturday in May, I am more tired than the horses. And I usually bet on nags that get lost before the finish line.
  2. I ate too Much Candy Day: Of course, I don’t hate Halloween, but I never get trick-or-treaters. I end up eating all the candy. I could buy candy that I didn’t like, but the little ones wouldn’t like it either. Besides, what candy don’t I like?
  3. Cute Little Critter Day: As a writer, I need something flashier than Ground Hog Day. Skunk Day or Porcupine Day? And in the south, ground hogs are the main course and never see their shadows.
  4. Boss’s Day: Really? Really? How about the other 364 days Boss’s Days? It’s on October 16 or the nearest workday. Maybe Employee’s Day? We deserve one stinking day.
  5. You Gotta be Kidding Day: The third Saturday in October is listed in some states as Sweetest Day. Candy a few days before Halloween? The day was invented by candy manufacturers years ago. Wonder why?
  6. Stay Home and Sleep Day: AKA Black Friday. The Friday after Thanksgiving is the day everyone but me shops. Except for bookstores, shopping is more painful than root canals.
  7. What Happened to Secretary’s Day? On Wednesday of the last week in April is Administrative Professionals Day. This name implies something is wrong with secretaries. Are writers Word Professionals?
  8. The Fourth of July: I love Independence Day. Parades & fireworks. Patriotic songs. But they voted for the Declaration of Independence on July 2nd, wrote it up on July 3rd, and signed it on July 4th. My birthday is July 3rd, so as a compromise, it should be The Third of July. Who said writers aren’t egotistical?
  9. Winter Solstice: The Shortest Day of the Year, a few days before Christmas. AKA the Longest Night of the Year. It’s too dark and cold to do anything on this day. I always write late & sleep in, so I see almost no daylight. Maybe it will inspire me to write a Krampus novel.
  10. Tax Day: Need I say it? Every April 15th Uncle Sam demands his share. I don’t mind paying, but questions haunt me: Did I forget anything? (Of course I did) Did I include everything? (Even the IRS doesn’t know) What if they didn’t receive my tax forms? I’ll end up in a prison cell with a guy named Killer Joe.
    Don’t be surprised if you read my novels and some these of holidays show up. I always wanted to do a horror story. How about, Killer Klowns on Black Friday? Or Derby Horses Make the Jockeys Gallop? Or Halloween Martian Attack?

 

Save

Read Full Post »

Holidays can be fun. Mama always warned me: Choose your friends & holidays carefully. I never listened.

  1. Only the Horses are Sane Day: In Louisville, the Kentucky Derby is THE holiday. Partying over a 2-minute race goes on for days. I love the Derby, but by the 1st Saturday in May, I am more tired than the horses. And I always bet on nags that never find the finish line.
  2. Too Much Candy Day: Okay, I really don’t hate Halloween, but I never get trick-or-treaters. I end up eating all the candy. I could buy candy that I didn’t like, but the little ones wouldn’t like it either. Besides, what candy don’t I like?
  3. Cute Little Critter Day: As a writer, I want something more attention-grabbing than Ground Hog Day. How about Skunk Day or Porcupine Day? And in the south, ground hogs are dinner. My grandparents often dined on them, so those groundhogs never saw their shadows.
  4. Boss’s Day: Really? Really? Aren’t the other 364 days Boss’s Days, too? It’s listed as October 16 or the nearest workday. How about Employee’s Day instead? We deserve one stinking day a year.
  5. You Gotta be Kidding Day: The third Saturday in October is listed in some states as Sweetest Day. We need more candy a few days before Halloween? Frankly, the day was invented by several candy manufacturers years ago. Wonder why?
  6. Stay Home and Hide Day: AKA Black Friday. The Friday after Thanksgiving is the day everyone but me shops. Except for bookstores, shopping is more painful than root canals.
  7. What Happened to Secretary’s Day: On Wednesday of the last week in April is Administrative Professionals Day. I have nothing against secretaries, but this name implies something is wrong with secretaries. Am I a Word Professional?
  8. The Fourth of July: I love Independence Day. I love parades & fireworks. Patriotic songs make me cry. But they voted for the Declaration of Independence on July 2nd, they wrote it up on July 3rd, and signed it on July 4th. My birthday is July 3rd, so as a compromise, it should be The Third of July. Who said writers aren’t egotistical?
  9. Winter Solstice: The Shortest Day of the Year, a few days before Christmas. AKA the Longest Night of the Year. It’s too dark and cold to do anything on this day. I always write late & sleep in, so I see almost no daylight. Maybe it will inspire me to write a vampire novel.

     10. Tax Day: Need I state the obvious? Every April 15th Uncle Sam demands his share of the booty. I don’t mind paying, but questions haunt my mind: Did I forget anything? (Of course I did) Did I include everything? (Even the IRS doesn’t know) What if they didn’t receive my tax forms? I’ll end up in a prison cell with a guy named Killer Joe.
Don’t be surprised if you read my novels and some these of holidays show up. I always wanted to do a horror story. How about, Zombies on Black Friday?  Or Derby Horses Get Even With the Jockeys? Or Killer Ground Hogs from Outer Space.

Eights Mask2

Save

Read Full Post »

I’d like to thank everyone for visiting me yesterday on Musa Publishing’s Blog, discussing my Ten Worst Holidays. If you missed them, you can still read them on Musapublishing.blogspot.com, Sunday, June 23.

Read Full Post »

Sunday, June 23, I will be on Musa Publishing’s Blog, discussing my Ten Worst Holidays. After you read about these holidays, you’ll be thankful to go to work on a non-holiday. I won’t mention my thriller, Neanderthal Protocol, but I will discuss my new inspirations/nightmares.  Musapublishing.blogspot.com

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: