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Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Ethyl, don’t look!

Friday May 7 is a special holiday—No Pants Day. (if you’re squeamish, quit reading) Participation is optional, I have opted out. My 8th great grandfather, David Suddeth, celebrated no pants day daily—he was from Scotland (kilts are allowed today).  

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1775: Paul Revere goes on his famous Midnight Ride: The British are coming! He stops at Ye Olde Taverne, ties his steed to a hitching post, and hands a message to the Tavern Keeper:

YOUR WARRANTY HAS EXPIRED

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Iceberg Blues

April 15, 1912, the Titanic hit an iceberg. As the ship was sinking, the wireless operator received a telegram. He rushed it to the captain.

YOUR WARRANTY HAS EXPIRED

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I would like to thank everyone for losing an hour for the war effort. General Washington’s troops need all the whale oil they can get if we are to prevail against the Redcoats. (we might even spare a whale or 2) Ben Franklin thanks you.

Hey, General Washington I don’t wanna go…

Hey, Ahab, I think I see a whale…

[Editor’s note: getting up an hour early interfered with Mr. Suddeth’s coffee drinking]

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STUCK AGAIN!

Snowplow Blues

Charles Suddeth

I got the snowplow blues,

Let me tell you the news,

Stuck in this awful snow,

I got nowhere else to go.

I got the snowplow blues,

Just waiting for the crews,

I’ve never been this cold,

So, I’ve been often told.

I got the snowplow blues,

Might as well drink my booze,

Never again will I see home,

That means I just gotta roam.

I got the snowplow blues,

Let me give you the clues,

Hey, I done lost my gal,

She used to be my pal.

[Editor’s note: Mr. Suddeth is home slurping hot coffee]

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I don’t have the resources to give everyone Christmas gifts, but if you click on Bonus Stories, you can read two of my short stories. “Only A dream” is sci fi and “World Traveler” is fantasy with a dash of dark humor.  In any case, I hope the Holidays treats everyone well.

Feb_27_001

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