C. T. Suddeth

Who lives in a pirate ship over the sea?

The old seadog

Who is peg legged and drunk as can be?

The old seadog

Saturday, September 19, 2020

The Seven Seas (me thinks, me map has vanished)

Avast Mateys,

Arrgh. Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day. Oh ye landlubbers what ignores me warnings will rue the day of their birth. Me lads will hunt ye down and yield no quarter. We have a pet Giant Squid what loves to graze on landlubbers. This year everyone has masks so me lads can sneak around quite handily. Oh yes!

Lads, spare no one! I will nab landlubbers as soon as I find me eyepatch and pegleg. And where be my pistols and my saber?  Oh, someone has spiked me rum. Me head is swimming circles like a starved shark. What is that sound? A seaborn rumble? A Navy gunship? The Stars and Stripes!

Lads, hoist the sails and turn our ship around. We shall fire a broadside the Navy will long remember! Pirates never fear the U.S. Navy! We shall board their vessels and take them as prizes! Let them play “Star Spangled Banner,”—we shall sing “Sixteen men on a dead man’s chest.” Polly, come back! Lads, prepare the boarding party! Lads? Lads? Don’t hide on me!

Polly, if you fly to the Navy ship, I’ll barbecue you! Me head is tossing and turning. Oh devil rum, what have ye done to the likes of me? I can’t swim a lick! Curses, I still have to deal with them what ignore Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Now be done with it!

The Old Seadog

http://talklikeapirate.com/wordpress/

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Arghh! I made Chuck walk the gang plank and took over his ship. I am sending you this message. (not real mail, carrier pigeon perhaps?)

Who lives in a pirate ship over the sea?

The old seadog

Who is peg legged and drunk as can be?

The old seadog

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

The Seven Seas (I think, for we are lost)

Avast Mateys,

Arrgh. I am through with ye landlubbers. Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day. I shall show no mercy on those what flouts this day. Even as I scribble these words, me lads are hunting ye down. Fair warning. Our cannons are loaded and ready to volley.

When me lads gather the landlubbers, I have bad news for those what walks the gangplanks. Me sharks have grown fat and lazy from eating too many landlubbers. This year we have crocs and gators that have not been fed for ages. Tonight, they shall feast! The landlubbers shall become chum!

I have quaffed one too many tankard of rum! I think I hear a band playing “Anchors Aweigh.” Impossible! The Navy will rue the day it messed with the likes of me. Spread the sails and hoist of the Jolly Roger! Where is me eyepatch? Me peg leg? Me crutch? Me blunderbuss? I can’t swim! Polly, you worthless bag of feathers, don’t fly off. Don’t you dare desert me!

Lads, be double quick and fire a broadside. Sink that Navy ship! Then we shall deal those who ignore Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Now be done with it!

The Old Seadog

http://talklikeapirate.com/wordpress/

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Who lives in a pirate ship over the sea?

The old seadog

Who is peg legged and drunk as can be?

The old seadog

Monday, September 19, 2016

The Seven Seas

Avast Mateys,

Arrgh. Me patience is gone. I will not show mercy on any scalawag who ignores Talk Like a Pirate Day. Me lads are scouring the Seven Seas to ferret ye out. Ye who live away from the seaside know that me ship can navigate the rivers, so expect a volley from our cannons if ye fail to heed me warnings.

The gang planks are out and the sharks be waiting below. Now we are within sight of the shore. Me lads love nothing better than to capture landlubbers. Oh, that last tankard of rum was too strong. Even with an eyepatch over me eye, I am seeing double. Two Navy ships? Curses!

Lads, up with the sails and the Jolly Roger, we’ll outflank ‘em and give ‘em a double-broadside. What happened to me peg leg? And me cutlass? And me musket? As soon as I dispatch the US Navy to the bottom of the sea, I’ll deal with the likes of ye who choose to ignore Talk Like a Pirate Day. Polly, come back, don’t you dare desert me ship!

Now be done with it!

The Old Seadog

http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

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Who lives in a pirate ship over the sea?

The old seadog

Who is peg legged and drunk as can be?

The old seadog

Friday, September 19, 2014

The Seven Seas

Avast Mateys,

Arrgh. Last year, I searched the Seven Seas and punished the scalawags who ignored Talk Like a Pirate Day. Now it be 2014. Time passes quickly since me head is fouled with cheap rum. Need I warn ye what shall surely happen if ye fail to heed me advice? I have a new weapon. A giant squid haunts me boat, but I plan to placate him with piddly landlubbers who refuse to talk like a pirate. He’s already bit off me leg, which is why I wear a peg leg.

Lads, load the cannons! The cabin boy in the crow’s nest says he smells landlubbers, but he can’t hear them talking like a pirate. Load the cannons with grapeshot, but don’t do like ye did last year. Ye wasted all me good table grapes.

Polly, don’t fly off and desert me! A sleek ship flying the Stars and Stripes just showed up on one side, and the hungry giant squid lurks on the other side, but nothing scares the likes of me. Just as soon as I find me crutches, everyone will taste of me blades and musket balls. Boys, hoist the Jolly Roger up high. No one dares challenge a pirate. After I dispense of me wee problems, I will make those who ignore Talk Like a Pirate go to Davey Jones Locker.

And so be done with it!

The Old Seadog

http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

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