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Neanderthal Menu

I consulted archeological and historical periodicals to assemble these recipes and show what life 50,000 years ago might have been like. Yes, in real life they probably didn’t eat on our schedule, but they got hungry just like we do. Warning, I am not a cook. For safety’s sake (and your taste buds’ sake) consult a food expert before attempting these recipes.

Neanderthal Breakfast—Neanderthal Porridge

Ingredients:

Handful of wild barley

Handful of emmer wheat (AKA farrow), a wild wheat

Handful of einkorn wheat, another wild wheat

Handful of sorghum seed

Handful of pistachios or chestnuts

Yarrow leaves for seasoning

Handful of dates (Neanderthals in colder climes might have used cherries)

Directions:

Heat water in a birch bark tray, being careful to keep it out of direct flames to avoid a fire.

Mash wild barley, emmer wheat, einkorn wheat, and sorghum seed; add to the boiling water

Hull and crumble nuts, then add to boiling mixture

Pit dates or cherries and add to the boiling mixture to sweeten

Boil until the porridge is soft

Lunch—Neanderthal Cattail soup

Ingredients:

Half dozen of cattail flowers, pollen, & roots

Handful of chicory leaves & roots

Handful of dandelion leaves

Wild lentils with husks

Parsnips

Chamomile leaves for seasoning

Directions:

Heat water in a birch bark tray, being careful to keep it out of direct flames to avoid afire.

Add wild lentils with husks to water, allow husks to dissolve and release the lentils

Peel & pound cattail roots, remove the fibers

Peel & chop parsnips and add to water

Add chicory roots & cattail roots to boiling water

Add chicory leaves & dandelion leaves to boiling water

Finally add cattail flowers & pollen to boiling water

If meat is necessary (Neanderthals ate what they had), add small animals or birds

Neanderthal Dinner—Water-lily stew

Ingredients:

2 or 3 medium-sized Water lily pads

A handful of white acorns (hulls have round ends) or walnuts

One squirrel or other small animal such as rabbit or rats

Handful of wild onions

Wild parsnips

Wild olives

Directions:

Drop hot rocks into a bison-skin bag filled with water and boil lily pads until tender.

Peel & chop parsnips and pitted olives, add to mixture

Skin squirrel and broil it. Add meat, innards, and bones to the lily pads.

Add wild onions, olivesFeb_27_001, and acorns to the mixture, and serve while warm.

 

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I consulted archeological and historical periodicals to assemble these recipes and show what life 50,000 years ago might have been like. Warning, I am not a cook. For safety’s sake (and your taste buds’ sake) consult a food expert before attempting these recipes.

Neanderthal Porridge

Ingredients:

Handful of wild barley

Handful of emmer wheat (AKA farrow), a wild wheat

Handful of einkorn wheat, another wild wheat

Handful of sorghum seed

Handful of pistachios or chestnuts

Handful of dates (Neanderthals in colder climes might have used cherries)

Directions:

Heat water in a birch bark tray, being careful to keep it out of direct flames to avoid a fire.

Mash wild barley, emmer wheat, einkorn wheat, and sorghum seed; add to the boiling water

Hull and crumble nuts, then add to boiling mixture

Pit dates or cherries and add to the boiling mixture to sweeten

Boil until the porridge is soft

Neanderthal Cattail soup

Ingredients:

Half dozen of cattail flowers, pollen, & roots

Handful of chicory leaves & roots

Handful of dandelion leaves

Wild lentils with husks

Directions:

Heat water in a birch bark tray, being careful to keep it out of direct flames to avoid afire.

Add wild lentils with husks to water, allow husks to dissolve and release the lentils

Peel & pound cattail roots, remove the fibers

Add chicory roots & cattail roots to boiling water

Add chicory leaves & dandelion leaves to boiling water

Finally add cattail flowers & pollen to boiling water

If meat is necessary (Neanderthals ate what they had), add small animals or birds

 

My novel takes place in the present, so you might call these old (very old) family recipes.

neanderthalprotocol-200

Neanderthals in the 21st century? What’s going on? Neanderthal Protocol, thriller, Musa Publishing, eBook. ctsuddeth.com

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Study sheds long debate about Neanderthals & co-existence w/humans histv.co/1BH3wlB Neanderthal Protocol: After cold-fusion physicist Greg Anderson’s DNA test marks him as a Neanderthal, he is forced to live like an animal. Rachel helps him search for the organization trying to destroy him.
ISBN: 978-1-61937-423-2

http://musapublishing.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=7&products_id=443

neanderthalprotocol-200

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Neanderthals in the 21st century? What’s going on?

Study sheds long debate about Neanderthals & co-existence w/humans histv.co/1BH3wlB

Neanderthal Protocol, thriller, Musa Publishing eBook. A physicist is outed as a Neanderthal, fights for his life. musapublishing.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=7&products_id=443

neanderthalprotocol-200

 

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Note: Greg Anderson, the main character from my Musa Publishing thriller, Neanderthal Protocol, decided to rant. His troubles begin when a DNA test classifies him as a Neanderthal and a court ruling strips him of civil rights. You can see why his view of Louisville veers from mine.

 

Greg: Like Chuck said, after what happened to me, I have a different take on Louisville: Tom Sawyer State Park occupies the farm of the old Lakeland Lunatic Asylum. The huge park has ponds, creeks, a nature area, playing fields, activities buildings, pools, and facilities such as a BMX track, a dog park, and an airport for remote-controlled planes. Neanderthals live in the wooded areas. It also has a cave/morgue and an old mill from the mental institution, but Neanderthals can’t be choosey. (It also has herds of wild turkeys and deer, but Neanderthals aren’t allowed to hunt, so we won’t discuss that)

 

Back in the day, before my life changed, I liked to bring my family to a nearby restaurant, Goose Creek Diner, a little place serving comfort food and Louisville dishes.

Burgoo is a fiery stew made with three different meats. Old-timers liked game meat, such as rabbit or squirrel, and they added a dash of bourbon, but Goose Creek Diner avoids them. Hot Browns are open-face toasted sandwiches, made with turkey, bacon, tomatoes, cheese and Mornay sauce. Fried green tomatoes are southern, and Louisville is certainly southern.

 

The Louisville Riverfront features parks, restaurants, hiking trails and attractions stretching for miles along the shore of the Ohio River, including the Indiana side. The Belle of Louisville is a century-old, operating steamboat based at the Louisville wharf. Carriage rides, docks, a foot bridge spanning the river, and music amphitheaters attract visitors year round.

My favorite section of the waterfront is the Louisville Water Tower Park. Built in the 1850’s, the Water Tower hosts the WaterWorks Museum and countless music festivals.

 

Even Neanderthals like the Kentucky Derby, which is held on the first Saturday in May at Churchill Downs. In a crowd of 150,000, a few Neanderthals can sneak in with no one the wiser. The race is only 2 minutes, but they have more races, bands, Derby food (burgoo & barbecue), and mint juleps. And the Derby has happy crowds—celebrities, buskers, bettors, partying college kids, and ladies with Derby hats (extravagantly decorated hats).

 

After I became a Neanderthal, I divorced. My girlfriend, Rachel, loves Bardstown, a small town a few miles to the south. Museums, shops, colonial houses, and restaurants make it a tourist destination. My Old Kentucky Home as in the song is in My Old Kentucky Home State Park in Bardstown. Although we Neanderthals legally can’t buy alcohol, its distilleries make it the Bourbon capital of the world.

Bernheim Forest is a private recreation area that is open to the public. Mid way between Bardstown and Louisville, it has over 14,000 acres of landscaped parks, forest, visitor’s centers, observation towers, hiking trails, and lakes. It’s perfect for families and for Neanderthals who need a place to hide.

neanderthalprotocol-200

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Neanderthal Protocol (adult thriller, Musa Publishing, eBook)
After cold-fusion physicist Greg Anderson’s DNA test marks him as a Neanderthal, he is forced to live like an animal. Rachel helps him search for the organization trying to destroy him.
PDF, ePUB (Nook, iPad, Android), PRC (Kindle), Mobi

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