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Recipe for Hillbilly Pizza

Not sure where this recipe came from, so chefs and diners beware!

[I have family from Kentucky, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, but they prefer to remain anonymous]

Ingredients

Dough – two cups cornmeal, half-cup wild goat milk, half-cup of lard

Sauce – one cup ‘maters, one cup of water

Cheese – half-cup curd cottage cheese, quarter-cup goat cheese

Spices – black pepper, sage, dried dandelion greens, hot Tabasco sauce

Preparation

Mix dough by hand. Place on well-scrubbed hubcap. (your hubcap, not the neighbor’s) Mix sauce with spices and cover dough. Cover sauce with cheese and toppings. Place in a roaring fireplace and bake until it smells right good.

Suggested Toppings

Possum

Crawdad

Rocky Mt. Oysters

Coon

Taters

Ramps

Yeller squash

Turnips

For further enjoyment

Moonshine goes well. Cheap beer, the cheaper, the better.

Invite the in-laws, pay them back. Enemies perhaps?

Just don’t invite me.

Music? Hank Williams, any good crying tunes.

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They are an American version of salami seasoned with paprika or chili powder. Only the name is Italian, so I assume Italians don’t eat them. Yours truly likes to sneak pepperoni pizza references in his novels—perhaps because his wife wouldn’t let him eat pizza.

As these pictures prove, all Americans love pepperoni. It has even caused coyotes to evolve—witness this Pizzayote. And a new hypothesis blames the extinction of dinosaurs on their fondness for pepperoni pizza. America beware! You are about to fall!

 

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My dirty little secret!

Pizza! Pizza! Pizza! Today is National Pizza Day. I usually eat healthy, but pizza changes the game. My YA novel, Experiment 38, and my adult mystery, Eighth Mask: Murder on the Cherokee Reservation, both include pizza. Burp.

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